It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
