Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
