Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
