just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize