Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
