Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And then he peed in my hair
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