i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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