mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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