the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
