In the future we'll all be gay
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
