I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
