She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
