sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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