Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
