fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
