I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
