You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize