I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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