If that was your dad, he is hot
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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