Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my being single is dangerous.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
