I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just had sex on a roof
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
