May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
