Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
