we have officially lost it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
