i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
only you would photoshop your dick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
