New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
