My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
