question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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