i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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