I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
