if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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