Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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