Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
