so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
