Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize