Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
