I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
