This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
