i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
