Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
