Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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