Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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