Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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