you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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