plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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