Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
