It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
