Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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