you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
