I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
