im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
