How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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