you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
