apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
