I feel great
I just peed on a car
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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